She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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