and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
