I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
