just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
