This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
