Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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