You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
