i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
