My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
