she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
