So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm always down for nudity.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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