somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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