no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
