Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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