Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
