Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
