Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
