Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Buhtt sex?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
