I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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