He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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