Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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