chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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