I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
