That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Do vagina's smell?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
