just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
