I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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