More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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