Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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