So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize