Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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