Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
