I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
