they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize