Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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