C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
