omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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