is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
