bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
