Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
