Me too!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
