But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize