I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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