I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize