i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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