Christians are straight up FREAKS
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
