he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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