i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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