Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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