but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
