I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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