at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize