I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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