I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize