Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
