So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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