we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
