My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There r osticjed everywhere
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
