This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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