your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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