My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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