I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
