i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
