Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
